Most families search this topic after a near-miss: a toddler hugs the dog, a cat swats at a quick hand, or a child gets nipped while a pet is eating. Nothing “serious” happens—this time—but it’s enough to realise how fast everyday moments can tip into injury, fear, or a pet being labelled “aggressive”.1, 2
A safe child–pet relationship is not about keeping them apart. It’s about shaping the household so children learn calm, respectful habits, and animals have space to rest, retreat, and communicate without being pushed past their limits.1, 3
The benefits of pets in a child’s life
Pets can add warmth and rhythm to family life: a dog that draws children outdoors, a cat that keeps quiet company, or fish that turn bedtime into a small ritual of care. Studies suggest pet relationships can support children’s social and emotional development, and for some children, contact with animals can help buffer stress.4
These benefits are easiest to protect when adults keep expectations realistic. Even the gentlest animal has limits, and children—especially under school age—are still learning impulse control, volume control, and what “gentle” really looks like in practice.1, 2
Choosing the right pet for your family
Matching a pet to your household is less about the “perfect breed” and more about the daily conditions the animal will actually live in: noise, visitors, routines, exercise, and how much quiet space is available.
Quick checks before you commit
- Child age and behaviour: very young children are at higher risk of dog bite injuries, particularly in the home and with dogs they know.2, 3
- Time and supervision: if you can’t actively supervise, you need physical separation (baby gates, closed doors, secure outdoor runs).2, 3
- Health considerations: some animals carry higher zoonotic risk for young children (for example reptiles, amphibians, backyard poultry and rodents).5
- Temperament and history: an animal’s current behaviour matters more than labels. Look for a pet that is comfortable with handling and household noise, and avoid animals that freeze, growl, lunge, or constantly try to escape interaction.1, 3
Adopting adult animals vs puppies or kittens
Adult animals often arrive with a clearer, more stable temperament, and many already have basic training. Puppies and kittens can be wonderful, but they require more supervision, structured training, and protection from rough handling while they learn how to cope with a busy home.3
Teaching children to interact safely (the household rules)
Children learn fastest from what they see. If adults hug the dog tightly, kiss the cat’s face, or let the puppy be climbed on, children will copy it—exactly and without context.
Approaching a pet
- Move slowly. Let the animal choose to come closer.
- For dogs, offer the back of a closed hand low and still, then pat gently on the shoulder or chest rather than reaching over the head.1, 6
- Always ask the owner before approaching an unfamiliar dog, even if it looks friendly.6
Hands: what’s safe, what’s not
- Do: gentle strokes, short interactions, calm voices.1, 6
- Don’t: hugging around the neck, climbing, pulling ears/tails, lying on the animal, crowding its face, or grabbing when it tries to move away.1, 3
When to leave pets alone
Many bites and scratches happen during ordinary moments when an animal is trying to protect space or settle discomfort. Teach children that these are “no-touch times”:1, 2, 3
- Eating or guarding a chew/toy
- Sleeping or resting in a bed/crate
- Unwell, injured, stiff, or newly recovering from surgery
- Caring for puppies/kittens
- Backing away, hiding, growling, hissing, freezing, or showing the whites of the eyes
Understanding risk: why supervision matters
Close, active supervision is the single biggest safety tool. “In the same room” is not enough—an adult needs to be watching closely enough to step in early, before a pet feels cornered or before a child gets excited and forgets the rules.2, 3
Young children are at the highest risk of dog bite injuries, and serious incidents commonly happen at home with dogs the child knows. That’s why most safety guidance is blunt on this point: don’t leave young children alone with dogs, even family pets.2, 3
Health risks: allergies, hygiene, and zoonotic disease
Animals can carry germs even when they look healthy. Good hygiene reduces the chance of stomach bugs, skin infections, and other zoonotic illnesses moving through a household.7, 8
Simple hygiene habits that work
- Wash hands with soap and water after touching pets, their food, toys, bedding, cages, tanks, or waste; supervise young children with handwashing.7, 8
- Keep pet feeding areas and habitats away from where human food is prepared.
- Extra caution for children under five around higher-risk animals (especially reptiles, amphibians, backyard poultry and rodents).5
Boundaries at home: shared spaces and retreat spaces
Most family conflict between children and pets comes from crowding: too much noise, too many hands, too little escape. Boundaries make the home feel predictable for everyone.
Set up a safe retreat for your pet
- A crate (introduced gently), a baby-gated room, a high cat tree, or a quiet corner with bedding and water.
- A clear rule: when the animal is in its retreat space, nobody follows, pats, or pulls it out.
Use separation when you can’t supervise
If you’re cooking, on the phone, settling a baby, or taking a shower, use physical barriers rather than hoping the children “remember”. This is especially important with toddlers and dogs.2, 3
Addressing problems early (before they become patterns)
A pet that is growling, snapping, hiding, or constantly trying to leave interaction is giving useful information. Treat it as a safety signal, not “naughtiness”. Create distance, lower the household intensity, and get professional help early.
Responding to fearful or reactive behaviour
- Stop the interaction calmly and separate child and pet.
- Check for pain or illness—animals are more likely to bite when they’re sick or sore.9
- Use reward-based training and gradual exposure under guidance (avoid punishment-based methods that can increase fear).1
When children are scared of a pet
Fear is protective. Don’t push physical contact. Begin with distance: watching the pet move around the room, feeding treats by an adult, and short, supervised interactions that end before either child or animal becomes overwhelmed.
If a bite or scratch happens
Even small wounds can become infected, and facial injuries can be serious in young children. First aid advice differs by situation, but the immediate priorities are consistent: move the child to safety, control bleeding, clean the wound with running water, and seek medical care—urgently for deep wounds, facial bites, heavy bleeding, or if you’re unsure.10
A steady relationship, built over time
Safe bonds don’t arrive in one sunny afternoon. They form through thousands of quiet, ordinary choices: a toddler redirected before grabbing, a dog given space to rest, a cat allowed to leave, a parent modelling calm hands. With supervision, boundaries, and simple hygiene, children and pets can share a home that feels secure for both species.1, 2, 7
References
- Sydney Children’s Hospitals Network (NSW Government) – Staying safe around pets
- Agriculture Victoria (Animal Welfare Victoria) – Preventing dog attacks in the home
- Better Health Channel (Victoria) – Animals and child safety
- National Library of Medicine (PMC) – The Power of Pets: Health Benefits of Human–Animal Interactions
- CDC – People at Increased Risk for Illness from Animals (guidance for children under 5 and higher-risk animals)
- Dog and Cat Management Board (SA Government) – Children and dogs
- CDC – Hygiene practices around animals
- CDC – Ways to stay healthy around animals (Healthy Pets, Healthy People)
- American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA) – Simple steps to prevent dog bites (including vet checks and supervision)
- The Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne – Keeping kids safe around dogs (and what to do if bitten)
Veterinary Advisor, Veterinarian London Area, United Kingdom